Dating Lesson #2 - Inconsistent behaviors

Stop trying to figure out inconsistent behaviors.

There was a time when I actually spent time trying to figure out what a guy's flaky behaviors meant.

Why does he say he wants to hang out, but instead of making plans, just likes my FaceBook statuses?  Why does he talk to me or text me every day for a week and then go MIA?  Why does he appear out of the blue to suddenly get together?  How can he be so passionate one minute, and then just disappear the next?

It took some time to realize that it was likely because [while I'm grate in the sack], he likely had no intention of this developing into anything other than sex.  We'd have sex, we'd get closer, he'd disappear, I'd get confused, he'd come back, I'd let it go, and let the cycle repeat.

I let this persist until I realized that the only thing consistent about these guys, was their inconsistency.

They weren't serious about me.

Look.  When someone is being hot and cold with you, it is a sign to call him out on his bullshit, walk away, or realize that it is just a part of him that won't change (and you should likely lower your expectations).  It really doesn't matter why the guy is going MIA.  What matters is that you are wasting your time by trying to figure him out.

When a guy is inconsistent, it means he either doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't know what you want, or he doesn't know how to communicate either to you.  Or perhaps, he has some deeper underlying personality disorder (… so many to choose from…).

Don't waste your time trying to figure out what you did wrong, or what you can do to get the guy to act the way you want him to, as that really is out of your control.  What is in your control, though, is just how much bullshit you want to accept in your life, and how you want to react to it.

In the past, I thought that if a guy really liked me, he would act differently.  However, here's the truth:  That guy acted like that before you met him, and he will likely continue to act that way long after you.

You can't change people.  Really.  You just can't.  If someone just isn't ready to let you into his life, it's just not going to happen.

Move on.

There really isn't any reason to put up with inconsistent behaviors.

You deserve better - I know I do.